I can has mean?

Welcome, bloggers. followers and lurkers; hows things? thats good. Shut up now. Ive decided its time to update my visual bus station toilet of a blog and empty my mind of its apathy.

Now I have seen some terrible movies in my time. Independence Day, Armageddon, Titanic, The Departed…the list goes on. But last night, in a bout of insomnia, i managed to watch 1 hour, 58 minutes and 14 seconds of what has to be the all-time King of all terrible, useless, obnoxious, stupid, insipid, horrid, putrid, fetid, utter shit movies. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Don’t ask me why i even tried. Just don’t. It’s not important. All i know is that my eyes actually smell like shit right now thanks to this flee ridden, STD infested potato sack, attrocity of a movie. I have in the past few years of my existance jokingly implied that violence should be visited upon those who have enjoyed such sad entertainment mediums.

The joke is over.

I hereby truly encourage people to hunt down every single person involved in the making of this film (and their extended family members — including children and grandparents) and actually kill them. Literally kill them.

If you yourself enjoyed this movie, or were merely ambivalent about it, could you please send me a recent photo of yourself along with the current street address of where you sleep? I just want to get a good ballpark figure of how many rounds of jacketed hollow point i should be picking up before i get underway tomorrow.

Better yet, if you did in fact enjoy this movie, please consider killing yourself by nail-gunning your own viscera to your own stupid face while sitting naked on a pail of bees you idiot.

Thank you for reading my movie review.